Meditation begins with developing the ability to focus the mind. I found this helpful for helpful for house sharing in 2 ways.

I listen to a person more clearly. This improves my understanding of what he/she/they is saying.

The other way is I find myself reacting less to people and choosing how to respond more often. When I react I tend to repeat old patterns that are not helpful which blocks my ability to hear and take in their message. When I choose how to respond, I find myself more skillful in communicating and or walking away. I walk away so we can have a constructive conversation later on instead of a fight.

Also, the ability to focus can be used in many ways, such as learning a skill, completing a task, studying spirituality or something else.

Things to consider for meditation:

- Mental Drifting
- Micro successes
- Comparison
- Let Go of Results, especially short term
- Consistent practice
- Alone or Group
- Shift in My Understanding
- Choosing Happiness

***** Mental Drifting

Mental drifting is so normal, that noticing mental drifting is success. And, keeping the mind still for more than a few seconds is most likely impossible in the beginning or for a while or after an emotional upset. With practice you can expand from a few seconds to longer.

The goal is not to silence the mind.

The goal is too notice when the mind has drifted.

***** Micro Successes

Especially in the beginning, holding your mind on an object for a second or two is progress. With practice that will increase.

This prevents developing your confidence in your non-meditative skills and giving up. When you negative judge yourself for not being good enough, you are developing non-meditative skills.

***** Comparison

Everyone moves at their own speed. This is not a race.

***** Let go of Results

Some meditations go smoothly and some don’t. Are you noticing a positive change over time, a few weeks or months ?

***** Consistent practice

A few minutes a day, 1 or 5 or 10 minutes and on a regular basis is more effective than doing a hour or longer every so often.

Meditation results come from consistent practice over time.

Binging is usually not helpful in the long run.

***** Alone or Group

Depends on each person personality and where they are at in life in the moment

Meditating in a group can be a way to build relationships without using words

***** Shift in My Understanding

My understand of meditation has shifted greatly since I started practicing Buddhism.

Before Buddhism, meditation was about emptying my mind. I developed the ability to sit and let thoughts come and go. Other times, I did body scans from head to toe. It took months of practice to reach the point that I could sit for a few hours at a time.. I did go thru periods of random temper tantrums, pounding the floor and stuff like that for a few minutes at a time. After a few minutes, the temper tantrum passed. My mind was fine after that.

After a while I stopped because I didn’t have an answer to this question. Now, that I have quieted my mind and experience peace, what is next ? What do I do with this peaceful, calmness.

Something was missing for me.

Buddhism gave me an answer. I can use it to move from an intellectual understanding of spiritual concepts to wisdom. Wisdom a deeper, non-intellectual understanding.

I practice breathing meditation to maintain and strengthen my skill to focus.

Then, I use the skill to develop wisdom..

***** Choosing Happiness

From the Buddhist perspective, Happiness can be intentionally developed.

At a class recently, the teacher said how amazing technology development is going. But, what about people’s ability to experience happiness ?

A meditation on developing happiness. This far easier said than done. It is a on going journey that has gone been going for a few years. At first, it was an interesting concept I heard at the Buddhist center. Then, after a year or two, I started intellectually understanding the reasoning for this. Then, a year later, I started experimenting with this thru mini meditations. By mini, I mean lasting a few seconds. The mini meditation for developing happiness is working for me.

Two ways to experiment:

I say experiment as a way to open myself to trying and experiencing something different.

When I do something based on me experience of it working, it is much easier to continue do the thing. This is why I keep these meditations really short. I want to experience effectiveness myself before I increase the length of time.

----- One way to experiment:

Pick an object or image that you experience happiness when you see it. Look at the object, notice various little details that please you.

Ask yourself, where is the feeling of happiness in my physical body or mind ? Or, where is the feeling of happiness ?

When you have find the feelings, focus on the feeling. After a few breaths close your eyes or let go of the object/image and focus on the feeling.

What color is the feeling ? What shape is the feeling ? Or just experience the feeling?

When you loose focus, return to looking at the object / image to develop and seek the happy feeling.

When you have the feeling, let go of object / image.

You will loose focus on your feelings at some point, likely in within a few seconds. That is normal.

The goal is to notice when your mind drifts, then return to the object. So you can find the feeling and let of the object again and again and …

You will loose focus on your feelings at some point, likely in within a few seconds. That is normal. The goal is to notice when your mind drifts, then return to the object. So you can find the feeling and let of the object again and again and …
I find myself loosing focus. It is just part of meditating for me.

A way to improve your odds of experiencing success is by keeping the meditation short. After letting go of the object and focusing on the feeling for x number of breaths, end that particular meditating. You can make the number of breaths as few as 2 or 3.

Right now, I find ending the mediation on my 3rd slow breath is very helpful. I do the meditation multiple times a day.

Another way is use a timer, set it to 3 seconds.

As your skill improves you can experiment with longer times.

So, does happiness come from the object or your mind ?

Are you able to experience happiness without the object / image in your mind for one second or a few seconds ?

----- Another way to experiment:

I find this helpful when anxiety suddenly arises.

I take 3 breaths slowly, shifting my focus from my head to heart. This is about switching focus from mental mind to heart mind.

When at heart mind, remember something that I experience peace while remembering.

Notice the feeling in my body.

Shift focus from mental image to feeling

focus on feeling for a 1 – 5 seconds

Then, I stop meditating

I do this multiple times in a day.