I have this dream - What if people shared housing with the intention to benefit all beings.
The concept “for the benefit of all beings” comes from my Buddhist studies.
Buddhist principals that are part of this dream
- Contributing to the Well Being of Others
- Intention
- Interdependence
- Pay It Forward
- Positive Potential
- Care for the Earth
*** Contribute to the well being of others
We can help each other in simple ways, holding a door, taking turn shopping, sharing some cooking, sharing cleaning tasks, giving a hug or giving space, etc.
It is amazing how separate houses or apartments create a challenge for people to care for each other.
*** Intention
This is about turning mundane tasks into making the world a better place and enjoying life..
As I do a house chore, I remind myself how this action is benefiting my housemates.
A way to create misery for myself is to do a chore because I must, have to, should, really sucks.
A way to create neutral or positivity is do a chore with the intention to benefit my housemates.
This creates a foundation for more positivity in my life and my housemate lives, which improves our ability to create a more positive, caring society.
*** Interdependence
This is recognizing we impact each other through our words and actions.
Ways to create misery
--- only think of me, ignore others
--- only think of others, ignore me
Ways to create okay or wonderful sharing
--- seek what works best for the most people
--- explore what I can live with, instead of what I want
--- create a space to hold everyone unique experiences
--- shift what I want to what can I live with
--- tell each other how a chore getting done positive affects you
--- be clear and specific about what a completed chore looks like to you, this can vary greatly from person to person
Sometimes, hanging in through the rough moments leads to finding better solutions.
Sometimes separating with clear boundaries is the best way for everyone to care for each other
*** Pay It Forward
This creates a potential chain of positive actions with unforeseen positive consequences.
Are the house relationships, transactional ? Everyone needs to keep count to make sure no one taking more than their fair share.
Are people looking for ways to contribute to each other ? So, there is a natural flow of giving and receiving.
*** Positive Potential
This is about getting out of enemy images and hatred.
This is challenging to remember when hurt/harmful words and actions happen.
Every human being has positive potential.
And, no one is perfect.
The worse people behave, the harder it is to see their positive potential.
Some people are really good at covering up their positive potential.
Are you saying “no” in words or action because the person is bad, evil, dirty, etc. ?
Are you saying “no” in words or action because what they are doing is not something you want to be a part of ?
Are you saying “yes” because the person is good ?
Are you saying “yes” because that is something you want to be a part of ?
*** Care for the Earth
Instead of 1 kitchen and bathroom and living room per person, we could have 1 kitchen and bathroom and living room per 2 or 3 or 4 people. This reduces the number of spaces to be built, maintained, heated and cooled.
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Additional things to consider
--- Every Person’s Experience of a moment has a degree of uniqueness
This is about how a proposals effectiveness is measured.
Every person’s experience with be slightly or greatly different. So, we need to create space to hold these different experiences to evaluate what is and isn’t working for the group.
I find house sharing is more about people’s experience than which concepts are best.
If people experience being heard their views respected, then debating could be on of the tools used to work out issues.
If people do not experience their experiences hear and respected, then debating will destroy the ability to work out issues and work together.
--- Every Person’s experience of a moment has something in common
seeking to be happy or avoid suffering
people have very different methods and ideas for this
sometimes their methods are effective
sometimes their methods are not effective
sometimes people can’t agree on what is and is not effective
*** Measurement
How do we know if we are achieving our purpose ?
Explore questions like these on a regular basic, say every 6 month or year. Maybe more often when starting out or a new person joins.
Some examples:
To what degree:
Do you experience being heard ?
Do you experience your concerns being taken seriously ?
Is living in the house providing opportunities for you to help your housemates ?
Is living in the house supporting you help people outside the house ?
Is living in the house helping you to make the world a better place for all beings ?
*** Social Cohesion
How does a group maintain a sense of shared purpose ?
The use of measurements could be a way to maintain social cohesion.
Otherwise, the loss of social cohesion can easily happen over time. People change over time but this is not realized. There are small negative experiences that aren’t worked out, resulting in building tension. No major changes or issues come up, so no one notices a problem building up.
Then, when a bigger change needs to happen, the group finds itself too busy fighting to make effective changes. The group can easily come to a quick and dramatic end.