Sharing Circle

Purpose:

Provide a structure for a group to have a constructive sharing.

Circle roles:

Expresser - one person in the middle of the circle

Facilitator(s) – facilitating the process that the focus is doing

Witness - people sit around the circle

Explanation of Roles:

Expresser – person in the middle of circle, person saying what he/she/their is experiencing

Facilitator(s) – facilitates process, only person(s) who may ask Expresser questions or step into circle

Witnessers play as critical a role as facilitators. Humans are interconnected. That is why the Witness presence can positively impact the Expresser. They listen with curiosity and compassion. While they put their thoughts, opinions, reactions aside. So, they can be fully present in the moment to see/hear the person in the middle.

If a Witness finds themselves getting upset or needing to express, Please leave the circle with as little disruption as possible. This is NOT a time for giving advice or comforting or fixing or solving or analyzing or planning.

Circle uses:

--- Self Discovery is asking other to help me discover what is going in myself.

This helps me get clarity and others learn about what is going on in me.

Let the person I the middle have time to be with his/her/experience of being in the middle for 24 hours before asking him/her/they want to hear reactions or thoughts about the sharing. This is about Being With the person in the middle, not an opportunity to give feedback.

--- Discover others experience of me

This helps me discover how people are impacted by my behavior presence

I step into the circle. When I said/did X, what did you experience ? Then I step out of the circle to hear what people share. They step into the circle to share.

If my goal is to contribute to the well being of others and or create policies that work the best for the most people, this can provide useful information.

--- Policy Discovery

The facilitator or I step into the middle of the circle and say what is the policy. Then, people take turns stepping into the middle to say how he/she/they experience that policy. Now, as he/she/they are in the middle of the circle.

--- Situational Discovery

The facilitator or I step into the middle of the circle and says what is the situation. Then, people take turns stepping into the middle to say how he/she/they experience that policy. Now, as he/she/they are in the middle of the circle.

Things to consider:

I suggest the more emotionally intense, the more careful about who is permitted and not permitted to be at the circle.

I suggest the circle be clear about its purpose. Why are people sharing ?

I suggest that the circle let people know its limits.

- we can’t provide professional counseling or support

- we are meeting for x minutes/hour, not until you are happy

- each person has X time to be in the middle of circle

While the Expresser is breathing, he/she is communicating. Stillness and movement are equally expressive. They are different ways of expressing. Can we be present to hear the person, instead of judging if he/she/they is moving or speaking enough ?

There needs to be shared agreement between facilitator and person in the middle about what communication style are they using. Is it Nonviolent Communication, Possibility Management, Peer Counseling, etc. ? The witness having some understanding of the process is likely helpful.

Developing the ability to be present instead of reacting improves a person’s ability to be a witness. It is our shared humanity that makes the witness role relevant.

There a difference between how a person expresses and what he/she is expressing ?

The how is the words, behavior, body language.

The what is life energies. Or what we have in common as human beings.

I recommend being aware of language, past and present tense. If people are using past tense, they are likely talking about a memory. If people are using present tense, they are likely talking about now. Usually speaking in the present tense is very helpful for seeing a fellow human being, instead of getting lost in concepts.

I have not worked out every little detail. I leave that to your group to figure out what works for you.

Some ways to develop skill to be a Witness:

Nonviolent Communication, based on writings of Marshall Rosenberg

Byron Katie, The Work

meditation – a form of meditation that is about letting thoughts come and go,

meditation – a form of meditation that is about noticing body sensations

Book – Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle