Accepting new members

The decision is based on what works and does not work for shared housing and food.

The clearer the group is about its purpose, the easier it will be to discover who is and isn’t a match for the group’s purpose.

Evaluating how effectively a person can support a shared goal is different that evaluating a person’s value or goodness in general.

Before application eligible for vote:

Before application is eligible for consideration for membership consider requiring a written application and a visit in person or by video call. This is to give house members a chance to get to know the person before making a decision.

Might want to require the perspective person interact with a minimum of X house members.

Some people do better with verbal communication. Some do better with written. I suggest having both written and verbal.

For houses that have a particular style of communication and or empathy

have the perspective member do that communication style with 2 members in person or by video call. This is to check if the perspective members communication style matches the particular style your house uses.

Suggested questions:

What moves you to apply ?

Sharing X is part of living here, how does that work for you ?

If sharing food. What type of food do you eat ? Are there any food you must have ? Are there any foods you can’t have or will not be okay with having in the house ?

What do you think about our view/principal of __________ ?

What benefits and challenges do you see around sharing food and housing ?

Since no group is perfect or can meet 100% of a person’s need. How do you plan to handle that ?

What are you doing to continue strengthening your ability to hear yourself ?

What are you doing to continue strengthening your ability to other people ?

Do you currently have empathy buddies ?

Do you agree to have an empathy buddy(ies), who is/are outside the social circle of the house, while living here ? This is to prevent getting lost in group think or expecting the house to be the sole source of empathy. When the house is seen as sole source of empathy, house members will likely burn out, become unable to provide you empathy.

Which chores do you prefer to do ?

Which chores do you not prefer ?

Are there any chores you are unable to do ?

How have you handle conflict, share a real life situation ?

What do you like to do for fun ?

How did your previous house hold handle dirty dishes and pots ? Did the person cooking, clean the pots and pans himself/herself ? If yes, when did he/she clean ? Where the dirty dishes put in the sink and cleaned later on ? Where dirty dishes cleaned by the person using the dish after he/she finished eating, not leaving the dirty dish to be cleaned later by himself/herself or someone else ?

What will you like to share with us to helps us get to know you better ?

Deciding:

Step 1:

the proposal is “Does considering ________ for membership work for you ?”

If more than X members say yes, then at next meeting

Step 2:

the proposal is “Does accepting _________ for membership work for you ?”

If more than X members say yes, then person is accepted.

The reason for step 1 and 2 is to pause before making such an impact full decision.

During the pause, those not at a meeting for step 1 can express their concerns. And, everyone has a chance to reflect about the decision, before making it.

I suggest a minimum of 6 days between passing “considering” and deciding on “accepting”.