Peace Team

Every group is unique, do what works for your group.

Party is referring the individual's and or group in the conflict.

This largely based on Nonviolent Communication based on Marshall Rosenberg.

Purpose:

Provide support to those in conflict and conflict mediating the conflict

runs on these assumptions:

-- All parties in conflict are in some degree of emotional pain.

– The answer to the conflict is in the parties thru connecting with what they have in common as human beings, their life energy.

– Usually the first step is each party receiving empathy separate from those they are in conflict with. After receiving empathy, each party decides how they want to proceed

-- The better I can see/hear myself, the better I can see/hear another person.

-- The clearer I am about what works for me, usually the more clearly I can share that with the other parties.

-- The purpose is to support all parties in conflict in moving towards a resolution and or living with issue and or separating.

– This is a voluntary process. All roles are voluntary. Anyone can leave process at any time.

– Formed to deal with a particular conflict, not an ongoing committee for all problems

***** The peace team has three roles, liaison, liaison support and coordinator.

–-– liaison ----

Party decides who they will accept as Liaison. Person Agrees to take on role of Liaison.

Provides Support to a party. Examples of support are giving empathy, finding another person to give empathy, do something to free up party's time, so he/she can to attend a meeting or self connect, arrange for a face to face mediation, etc.

If presenting a strategy to a party, the intention is to hear how party is experiencing the strategy, help party clarify how this strategy works and does not work for the party. The intention is not to get the party to agreement or not agree with strategy.

Passes messages from peace team to party and party to peace team and to other liaisons

Part of peace team meetings

–-– Liaison support ----

Not a liaison to a party

Looks for ways to supports liaisons. Examples are giving empathy, cover for person to free up his/her time

Attends peace team meetings and help people see bigger picture

If asked, arrange for or facilitate a mediation or face to face meeting among parties

–-- coordinator ----

Liaisons decide who coordinator is, Parties may or may not be involved in choose coordinator

Schedules peace team meetings

Facilitates peace team meetings

Also can have role of liaison or support liaison

– peace team meetings --

The primary purpose of the peace team meeting is for Liaisons to give each other empathy and receive empathy from Liaison Support. The parties in conflict are not at this meeting. Therefore the Liaisons decide who is at the meeting. The parties may or may not have a say on who attends the meeting.

Additional and secondary reason for peace team meeting is share where each party is at and brain storm possibilities to share with parties.

The clearer the peace team members are about what will and will not work for them in their role, , usually the more effective they will be at providing empathy and support to the parties.

When around people in pain, a person needs a way to do self-care. It is likely that a peace team member will experience pain in self at some point while listening to a party. If he/she does not deal with the pain coming up in self, he/she will likely become overwhelmed or act unconsciously and not able to effectively act as a liaison.

Are parties informed about who is at the Peace Team meeting ? Do what works best for your situation.

***** creation of peace teams:

– A party asks a person to be a Liaison. The liaison finds a liaison support person. A team is created.

– If other party gets a liaison. He/She/They may join with the other liaisons. They are not required too.

--- A person can suggest idea to one or both parties in conflict, if either says yes, the Peace Team can form.

***** dissolution of peace team:

--- When all parties and or peace team members withdraw from team.

further details:

The peace team does not seek to fix or resolve the issue. The peace team offers to be with the party, discover what he/she/they are experiencing. Then, may offer possibilities, options, then listens with curiosity about how the party is experiencing that possibility, option.

Things to consider when deciding to facilitate a mediation:

----- self connection, person able to talk about self in terms of feelings and needs:

Purpose: If I am only focused on the other, not self connect, I will not be able to clearly and articulately share what is alive for me around the issue.

When I am self connected, I can share with the other person what is alive in me more clearly.

----- curious about other:

If I have no curiosity about other, I will be unable to hear them.

Purpose: When I have curiosity about the other, I will more likely be open to hearing the other person's experience.

----- Are participants choosing to participant in this process ?

Purpose - The mediation is voluntary. If forced, mediation will not work.

----- Do you want to work this out?

Purpose - Mediation is not effective for making or tricking people into working things out.

----- Do you agree to speak respectfully to the best of your ability ?

Purpose -Respect is a basic ingredient for mediation to work.

----- Are you open to any strategies that meets yours and other person's needs ?

Purpose – Mediation is not effective for getting people to do things. Mediation is effective for helping both sides discover what they have in common as human beings. Then, a solution arises from what they have in common.

For conflict mediatin training, I recommend two people, even though they are very different.

inspired by Miki Kashton thru watching Conflict Hotline on Youtube.

Inspired by Tom Bond, New York Center for Non Violent Communication

The remaining questions are inspired by attending trainings by Tom Bond at nycnvc. Www.nycnvc.org