Peace Team

This is an idea. Adjust it to what works for the conflict. Or, hopefully stirs discussion that leads the group to discovering what works.

Every group is unique, do what works for your group.

This largely based on Nonviolent Communication based on Marshall Rosenberg.

Outline

- Purpose
- Runs on these Assumptions
- Roles
- Peace Team meetings
- Creation / Dissolution
- Things to consider when deciding to facilitate a mediation

**** Purpose:

Create conditions for the most beneficial way to move forward through people in the conflict and those supporting those in conflict receiving support.

***** Runs on these Assumptions:

-- All parties in conflict are in some degree of emotional pain.

– The answer to the conflict is in the parties thru connecting with what they have in common as human beings, their life energy.

– Usually the first step is each party receiving empathy separate from those they are in conflict with. After receiving empathy, each party decides how they want to proceed

-- The better I can see/hear myself, the better I can see/hear another person.

-- The clearer I am about what works for me, usually the more clearly I can share that with the other parties.

-- The purpose is to support all parties in conflict in moving towards a resolution and or living with issue and or separating.

– This is a voluntary process. All roles are voluntary. Anyone can leave process at any time.

– Formed to deal with a particular conflict, not an ongoing committee for all problems

***** Roles – There are 4 possible roles are Party, Liaison, Support Person and Coordinator.

--- Party ---

Person(s) in conflict

The parties can not take on other roles in the Peace Team for the conflict that he/she/they are involved in.

–-– Liaison ----

Provides Support to a party. Examples of support are giving empathy, finding another person to give empathy, do something to free up party's time, so he/she can to attend a meeting or self connect, arrange for a face to face mediation, etc.

If presenting a strategy to a party, the intention is discovery. How does the person(s) experience the proposal ? The intention is not to get the party to agree or not agree with strategy.

Passes messages to other peace team members or other parties

Part of peace team meetings

–-– Support People----

Looks for ways to supports liaisons. Examples are giving empathy. Maybe can do things to help free up Liaison person time to help person in conflict.

Attends peace team meetings and help people see bigger picture

If asked, facilitate and or arrange for mediation

–-- Coordinator ----

Liaisons decide who coordinator is

Parties may or may not be involved in choosing coordinator

Schedules and facilitate peace team meetings,

***** Peace Team meetings

When around people in pain, a person needs a way to do self-care.

The primary purpose of the peace team meeting is for Liaisons to give each other empathy and receive empathy from Support people. The parties in conflict are not at this meeting.

Additional and secondary reason for peace team meeting is to brain storm possibilities to share with parties.

The clearer the peace team members are about what will and will not work for them in their role, , usually the more effective they will be at providing empathy and support to the parties.

Are parties informed about who is at the Peace Team meeting ? Do what works best for your situation.

***** Creation / Dissolution
One party agrees to have a Liaison. And, the liaison finds a liaison support person. Now, a team is created. Other parties may or may not do the same.

Peace Team ends when people withdraw from process. Some reasons people withdraw

• Parties in conflict have resolved the conflict

• Parties have found a way to live with the situation

• One of more of the parties have left the group

• People withdraw from the team for other reasons

***** Things to consider when deciding to facilitate a mediation:

----- self connection, person able to talk about self in terms of feelings and needs:

Purpose: If I am only focused on the other, not self connect, I will not be able to clearly and articulately share what is alive for me around the issue.

When I am self connected, I can share with the other person what is alive in me more clearly.

----- curious about other:

If I have no curiosity about other, I will be unable to hear them.

Purpose: When I have curiosity about the other, I will more likely be open to hearing the other person's experience.

----- Are participants choosing to participant in this process ?

Purpose - The mediation is voluntary. If forced, mediation will not work.

----- Do you want to work this out?

Purpose - Mediation is not effective for making or tricking people into working things out.

----- Do you agree to speak respectfully to the best of your ability ?

Purpose -Respect is a basic ingredient for mediation to work.

----- Are you open to any strategies that meets yours and other person's needs ?

Purpose – Mediation is not effective for getting people to do things. Mediation is effective for helping both sides discover what they have in common as human beings. Then, a solution arises from what they have in common.

For conflict mediation training, I recommend two people, even though they are very different.

inspired by Miki Kashton thru watching Conflict Hotline on Youtube.

Inspired by Tom Bond, New York Center for Non Violent Communication

The remaining questions are inspired by attending trainings by Tom Bond at nycnvc. Www.nycnvc.org